When it comes to relationships (any relationship! ), we hear the term a lot. However, trust is much more important in love relationships (you probably aren’t afraid about your coworker breaking your heart, even if he drinks the last of the coffee and doesn’t make any more!).
This issue of trust is particularly pressing for those who have been hurt in the past – you don’t want to go through it again! You may find yourself with a man, attempting to reconcile how to trust him or inventing justifications for why you should or shouldn’t.
Part of you may say, “Go ahead and do it,” like a tiny angel on your right shoulder. However, the devil perched atop ol’ lefty warns you to be cautious.
You become torn, repeatedly questioning yourself, “Should I trust him?” Should you do it?
Fortunately, there is a technique to tell if you can trust him and distinguish between the good and the bad. This is where the three “I’s” come into play.
If a man invests in you, he believes your relationship has a future. You don’t have to worry about persuading him to commit – he’s ready to go it alone! But what precisely does this imply?
When a man invests in a woman, he is giving her more than just his presence and attention; he is also giving her his time and energy. He’s making plans with her, asking her about herself, and when she responds, he puts his phone down so he can listen.
He’s not making any future arrangements that exclude her, and he’s not just texting her a couple of times a day to keep her interested.
Is the man you’re seeing trustworthy in any other aspects of his life? Is he pleasant to you yet impolite to the waiter? Does he appear to be well yet spend his days whining about how he can’t get along with a single coworker (literally none!)?
Does he brag about how he dined and dashed at Red Lobster or how he built a computer code to steal money from his clients’ accounts?
Integrity is a simple puzzle to solve: if a man has integrity with others, he will have integrity with you. If he doesn’t, then you have your answer as well.
Influence comes in third. What exactly do we mean? To be honest, how willing is your boyfriend to be affected by you? Is he interested in what you have to say and think?
This is not to say that a guy should be a puppet and not think for himself (which is also untrustworthy); it also does not mean that he should change his own principles or opinions. However, he must make room for you and respect your feelings.
So, consider whether he emotionally affirms you or dismisses and downplays all you say, think, and feel. You may put your trust in a man who validates you. A man who does not does not deserve your time or efforts.
The three “I’s” listed above will tell you if you can trust the man you’re dating. Of course, they can only carry you so far; you must also trust your own instincts. If every fiber of your being tells you that the man you’re dating is full of it, he most likely is.
Using the above as a guide, you might be able to sidestep the frogs and get straight to the princes.