Love is a term that gets thrown around a lot these days. Many people confuse being in love with loving someone.
Attraction, infatuation, obsession, or possession are all aspects of love.
What is the difference between loving and being in love with someone?
We meet someone attractive and spend time with them, holding hands, hugging, kissing, and developing superficial feelings. When they aren’t around, we miss them and get high whenever we spend time with them.
It’s because when we fall in love and get closer to someone, our brain releases particular chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin, but this chemical high usually doesn’t stay long.
Loving someone, on the other hand, is a more intense and lasting emotion.
When you love someone, you want to see them succeed, so you push them to be their best. You put forth the effort to maintain the relationship. It necessitates dedication.
Being in love is based on transient sensations of attraction and what you can gain in return from the other person, whereas loving someone involves offering love unconditionally without keeping score.
Loving someone entails extending yourself to another’s well-being.
There are a few key distinctions between loving and being in love with your mate.
Being in love can be unintentional, whereas loving someone is a conscious decision.
“Infatuation, possessiveness, and obsession can all lead to falling in love with someone. On the other hand, loving someone goes beyond physical proximity. You want to see them succeed, so you look past their shortcomings and see possibilities to grow together; you motivate, encourage, and inspire one another.” Relationship Expert, Kemi Sogunle
Being in love might come unintentionally; we may develop feelings of attraction or lust for someone and begin obsessing over them.
We meet someone and feel a rush of chemicals in our bodies that fool us into thinking we love them, but this rush fades quickly, whereas loving someone is a conscious choice we make where we want to contribute to their growth, see them happy, motivate them to reach their full potential, and love them unconditionally.
Loving someone entails prioritizing them.
Keya Murthy, a hypnotherapist and spiritual life coach, believes that “Loving someone does not always imply that you put them first. It’s a sophisticated deed and emotion in which you learn to bring both of you onto the same plane.”
Being in love is all about getting something from the other person.
You stay with someone as long as they meet your wants, yet loving someone entails prioritizing them.
It entails going above and above for the other person’s well-being. It is centered on unconditional giving.
You accept your spouse for who he or she is without being domineering or judgmental, and without attempting to mold them into the vision you have in your head of how they should be.
Unlike infatuation, which is fleeting, loving someone lasts a lifetime.
Attraction, lust, or infatuation can all lead to falling in love. You meet someone, become intimate with them, your brain and body are flooded with love chemicals, and you develop superficial sentiments for them, which you mistake for love.
However, falling in love is usually short-lived because the initial euphoria fades quickly.
But loving someone lasts longer because it is a purposeful decision to stay with them after the initial rush has worn off because you love them completely for who they are and are prepared to invest the time and effort to nurture and see them grow.
According to Murthy, “Because the term “in” is in it, you could be “out” of it until you work on your relationship and outgrow being in love and start loving the other unconditionally. Being in love lasts a lot longer than loving someone.”
Being in love makes you needy; loving someone makes you want the best for them.
Being in love means being in love with someone because of what you can gain from them, such as feeling better about yourself or overcoming loneliness.
When the other person does not offer you what you want in the way you want, you are no longer in love.
When you love someone, you want the best for them and want to see them happy no matter where they are in life, even if that means being away from you.
“There is an overpowering sense of wanting the absolute best for someone when you truly love them in a clean, unattached way.” True love is wanting the best for someone, even if that means not being in a relationship with them,” says Jordan Gray.
Loving someone is a relationship, and being in love is about ownership.
It’s all about possessiveness or ownership when you’re in love. You basically see someone else as a tool to meet your needs, and you want to own them since they are the source of your happiness.
You will simply fall in and out of love based on the benefits of a relationship. It’s all about “I” rather than “We.”
According to Murthy, “When you’re in love, you could refer to your spouse as “my girlfriend” or “my partner,” meaning that you own them because of the relationship. There is a division of I, myself, and mine, or the trinity of self-delusion, as Buddha described it. When you’re in a partnership, you evolve from the “I-me-mine” to the “we and us” without even realizing it. This is how our car, house, dog, vacation, and other things become a part of your existence. Even if you are the only one invited, you say “let me get back to you” because you want to discuss it with your partner first.”
It’s like working as a team when you love someone. You want to share your lessons learned and progress as a group. It’s all about “We” rather than “I.”