There are stories flying around on how to get a man everywhere I look. It’s all about getting married, getting into bed, and attracting sexual desire from others.
It’s not a joke in our world. People seem to look at you odd when you declare you’re single past a certain age because romantic partnerships are king.
For a multitude of reasons, our relationship attitude stinks.
It’s awful because women, not men, bear the brunt of the pressure to be in a relationship. It’s terrible because it makes men feel useless if they don’t receive any.
It’s bad because it encourages us to have this strange, indescribably frustrating tunnel vision in which we don’t care about our friends or how to be a good friend, and instead focus all of our time and effort on a relationship that leads to marriage, children, and a white picket fence we may or may not want.
Seriously, I can’t begin to describe how awful that is.
The truth is that most individuals desire sex and company. They are looking for confirmation that they are appealing. They crave closeness and the assurance that someone cares about them.
It’s painfully terrible because you keep trying to make things work with people who don’t give a damn about you, all the while knowing that you’re basically attempting to achieve the impossible just to get that validation. (Of course, regular sex doesn’t hurt either.)
It’s a toll on your mental health. I should know; I’m more prone to relationship tunnel vision than most of the people I know. While I still want a spouse or wife, I’ve come to know that being alone is preferable to being with the wrong person.
Consider what it means to have truly wonderful friends.
I don’t want to talk about decent friends; I want to talk about fantastic friends.
Great friends are those who will defend you when you are unable to defend yourself. They are the ones that will provide you with a place to stay if you are homeless. They’re the ones who will drop by and drive you to the hospital if you’re in serious pain.
Because you are family to them, great friends adore you just as much as any spouse. Great friends do not betray you, mistrust you, or engage in unethical behavior. Whether they’re taken or not, true friends are there for life and will always make an attempt.
Great friends come along once in a lifetime; the fortunate among us will be able to count them on one hand. Most people I know don’t have a true buddy that will be there for them no matter what happens.
In a strange way, your closest pals are more intimate than your spouse.
Consider the last time you coped with a breakup in front of your closest friends – the ones you can trust. They were there for you when you were crying. Your ex-boyfriend was not. They intervened when you drank so much that you were on the verge of doing something dumb. A romantic attraction did not.
They saw you at your most vulnerable and stood by you when a partner couldn’t — and let’s face it, it’s a very intimate moment that most people won’t get to share with you. Few individuals will ever see you at your most vulnerable and come to your aid.
And it’s not like close pals can’t provide you with many of the benefits of a relationship.
You can embrace your friends. They can cook for you and take you to cool places, just like a date. In rare cases, they can even be your housemates and behave as your family.
They can give you advise, lend you money, and even look after you if you are ill.
Even when we have our own spouses, our best friends might play the role of the spouses we wish we had. Your true friends genuinely care about you, and their affection is more pure than a romantic relationship.
Consider this: your true friends are those that love you as well. They perform services for you without expecting anything in return.